Hey Yeram,

It’s been a few days since I got back, and honestly, I’ve just been swept up in everything. The trip, the days zooming by, trying to get my brain working again. I haven’t really had the time to slow down and let it all land properly, let alone figure out the right words for what our time together meant to me. That’s kind of why I wanted to write this. Not because anything I’ve said so far wasn’t true (it all was), but because this deserved a little more room. Just quietly dropping a message on Whatsapp didn’t feel right to me, so I did it this way

When I think back, it’s not the big moments that stay with me most. It’s the still ones. Sitting by the window with you, talking about life. The way the sunset came through our place as we built that Lego set. Me handing you each brick while you focused. There was something calm and clear in those moments. Like we didn’t have to try to be anything, we just were. It felt new, but also like something we both already understood.

Since coming home, I’ve been missing that feeling. I’m not someone who usually gets homesick, but this has felt different. I miss being around you, sharing space together, hearing your voice nearby. But more than anything, I’m grateful I got to experience that. It’s something I carry with me now, quietly but so fully.

For the first time in a while, I didn’t feel the need to protect myself. I’ve carried a lot over the years. Guilt, pressure, the habit of being a bit guarded. But with you, those things start to feel less necessary. Especially in the moments I opened up and you just stayed there with me. No pressure to fix anything. Just your presence. It really healed a part of me. That belief, that I could be enough, just as I am, is something I’ve been trying to grapple with for so long. You helped me see that again. You didn’t demand anything from me, you just stayed. You helped me reconnect with a part of myself I’d almost forgotten

Being in a relationship with you means something to me. It’s not just about how happy I feel when we’re together, it’s about what it asks of me, and what I want to bring into it. I don’t take what we have lightly. To me, it means showing up with care, with attention, with a willingness to grow alongside someone and to really listen, even in quiet moments. I want to build something where we both feel safe and seen, to support you in any way I can, where things aren’t rushed, but also not taken for granted. Something that’s ours, shaped by both of us, at our own pace.

I miss being around you. The way you light up when you’re focused on something you care about. The way you slip into Korean mid-thought without noticing. Your voice, your energy, just everything.

Mostly, I just want to say thank you. For who you are. For how you show up. For the way you let me be myself. I know things can be difficult. But I believe in this. I believe in us. Because being with you doesn’t feel like stepping out of real life, it feels like building something real in it.

Thank you for being in my life. For being you. I like to keep this phrase for times when it feels most right, so I mean it fully when I say that I love you

I can’t wait to see you again soon and do things together like cooking something in our new kitchen, having late night talks or watching movies. Until then, I’m sending you a long-distance hug, holding you close in my thoughts and sending all my care your way.

– Darran